So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
