how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
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