i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
why do cheetos always look like penises
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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