who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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