so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
