Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
