giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
