I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just found puke in my bra..
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
