Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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