Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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