oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Randomize
