Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
