Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
