Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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