Where did you get a picture of my penis
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
