i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
