He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
