So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
