Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
