Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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