is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
