can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
