before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
