you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
