My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
