i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
