i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Alive.
So much puke
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
