worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
