you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
