Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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