careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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