i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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