doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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