About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
