I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
