We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
