Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
