hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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