If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
