I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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