buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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