Nicole vs. Life
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
