What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Randomize
