Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Randomize
