Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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