Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
