We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Ketchup is God's man juice
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
