i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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