So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
