This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I am midnight drunk by noon
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
