We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
